Who's The Biggest? Hetalia Drabble&Oneshot Series
by sailorj14
Summary: London, England's little sister, is in charge of girl's day with the Hetalia girls today. Unfortunately, her bushy-browed brother buried her in paperwork and she didn't have anything planned. Sitting around in the english ctiy's room, the girls remain bored and irritated at her. Suddenly, London sparks up an idea; an awesome, amazing, mischievous idea.
1. Intro

Here's a new drabble/oneshot series I've been working on! I hope you like it!

**Intro~The Idea**

I was sitting in my room surrounded by my best friends: Hungary, Belarus, Ukraine, Liechtenstein, Seychelles, Taiwan, and Belgium.  
"I'm so bored!" groaned Hungary and Belgium.  
"I could be with big brother right now," growled Belarus.  
"Belarus! Stop terrorizing brother Russia!" Ukraine cried.  
"I don't mean to intrude," Liechtenstein's small voice spoke up, "But I'm getting a little bored too."  
"I want to go to the beach," said Seychelles.  
"I don't care as long as we do something," Taiwan sighed. Hungary walked up to me and put a hand on my shoulder.  
"London," she spoke, "To be honest, THIS IS THE WORST GIRLS DAY EVER!"  
"SORRY!," I yelled back, "My stupid big brother, England, buried me up to my nose in paperwork, so I didn't have time to plan anything! Plus, I told you girls you can do whatever you want."  
"But this people are too stupid to think of anything!" Hungary complained and motioned to the other girls.  
"HEY!" all the other countries shouted.  
"You'll have to pay for that!" growled Belarus holding her signature knife. Hungary screamed as the six females chased her around the room. As my six friends tried to kill my other friend, an idea struck me. An awesome, amazing, mischievous idea.  
"HEY!" I shouted. All my friends stopped and looked at me.  
"Stop trying to kill each other and come here." We all sat in our usual circle when one of us had an announcement.  
"Ok," I started, "As I can tell, you all are bored as hell." They all nodded.  
"Good, because I have a proposition for you all."  
"What is it? What is it?" Taiwan squealed in anticipation.  
"Well, we all are familiar with the male countries and how they're always fighting, correct?"  
"Of course," they said.  
"So which one is actually the biggest person?" I smirked. They all cocked their heads in confusion.  
"I'm asking you all: which one do you think is the BIGGEST person?" They all still looked at me with confusion. I was getting frustrated and just decided to come out with it.  
"WHO'S MALE COUNTRY DO YOU THINK HAD THE BIGGEST DICK?!" They all stared at me, wide eyed and mouths agape. Belgium finally spoke up.  
"Um, why would we want to know that?"  
"Well I guess we don't _need_to know this information, but don't you _want _to know_?_" I asked.  
"Well, I guess it would be interesting to know," said Seychelles, "But how are we going to obtain this 'special' information."  
"It would be embarrassing to just ask the boys," Ukraine said. I put my hand under my chin in a thinking pose.  
"Why don't we just measure them forcefully?" I suggested.  
"WHAT?!" they screamed.  
"Yeah, just get a male country alone in a room and measure their dick."  
"I don't think my big brother would allow me to do that," said Liechtenstein.  
"Don't worry Liecht-t (our nickname for Liechtenstein)," I reassured her, "If Switzerland has a problem with it then he'll have to have to deal with six female countries all with a standardized issue of Hungary's frying pan!" We all got out our frying pans and did a battle stance.  
"I guess Switzy (nickname for Switzerland) can't take all of you," she giggled.  
"So is everybody in decision?" I shouted.  
"As long as I get to measure brother Russia," smirked Belarus.  
"I can't believe we're doing this," groaned Hungary and Belgium.  
"I can't believe we're doing this!" squealed Seychelles and Taiwan,  
"Everybody ready?"  
"LET'S GO!"

So there's the start of the series. I really hope I can continue this because it seems fun to write. I hope you liked it!


	2. Chapter 1 Russia

Top of Form

Bottom of Form

Hey everybody! And about this drabble series; it doesn't really go in order. But make sure to read the intro and the Russia one first. Then you can go in any order you want. Hope you like it!

The female countries and I walked through the hallways of the World Union Building looking for the first kill. I felt like we were in a movie because we were walking all cool and slow motion like.  
"Keep your eyes peeled girls," I ordered, "I want to get this thing started."  
"Male country at 2 o'clock," Hungary spoke up. We all turned our heads and saw said country. "Oh my god…" Belgium gasped.  
"He scares me," squeaked Liechtenstein.  
"BIG BROTHER!" Belarus squealed.  
"Stop it Belarus!" cried Ukraine. We all held Belarus back from raping her brother right there. "Now, now Bella," I reassured her, "You and Ukraine get to measure Russia since you're related, but we can't just pounce on him. We have to make it unnoticed."

We all took our positions to capture our first victim. Seychelles, Belgium, Taiwan, and Liechtenstein were making sure no other countries were present while Belarus, Ukraine, Hungary, and I waited for Russia. We suddenly caught sight of the vodka drinking country.  
"Ok girls, I've spotted the target," I said into the walkie-talkie. The three other girls and I stopped the male.  
"Hello Russia," we all said.  
"Da, hello London, Hungary, Belarus, and Ukraine," he replied with a smile.  
"We need you to do us a favor," Hungary said.  
"Could you please close your eyes for us?" I asked as sweetly as possible.  
"Sure, da." He closed his eyes and held out his hands, thinking we were going to give him something. Oh were we going to give him something. Hungary and I slowly opened a door to a nearby room. The girls and I exchanged a glance.  
"GO!" Belarus and Ukraine pushed Russia into the room while Hungary and I slammed the door shut. We pushed our ears onto the door and tried to hear the devilish act that was going on the other side.  
"Ukraine, Belarus, what's going on?" came Russia's voice.  
"I'm so sorry Brother Russia!" cried Ukraine. I heard the sinister laughing of Belarus.  
"B-Bella? Why do y-you have a ruler?" I heard a bunch of shuffling and then Russia's terrified scream.  
"W-what are you t-two doing?! Give me back my pants," he yelled, "N-no, n-no…W-what are y-you trying t-to do, d-da?! D-DAAA!"

A few minutes later Belarus and Ukraine walked out of the room with a satisfied look on their faces. Mine and Hungary's eyes went wide as we looked into the room. Russia was there, crying in the corner. Belgium, Liechtenstein, Taiwan, and Seychelles ran back from standing guard.  
"How did the mission go?" asked Taiwan.  
"See for yourself." The four countries looked into the room and saw the same sight I saw.  
"Oh god…Belarus did you rape him?!" Belgium shouted.  
"No, she actually did really well at controlling her urges," Ukraine said.  
"How long is his…well, you know," Seychelles questioned.  
"_inches," said Belarus.  
"Is that big?" Liechtenstein asked.  
"I don't think anybody here knows the average size of a guy's thing," I laughed, "Now girls, I'm very proud of you all; Especially Ukraine and Belarus. Good job at making Russia nearly pee his pants." They both smiled at me.  
"Do you all still want to do this?" I asked.  
"OF COURSE!" they all screamed.  
"But I want to measure someone too!"  
"Me too!"  
"Me three!"  
"Me four!"  
"Ladies, ladies there are many male countries that are staying in this building. I'm positive that we'll get to measure at least two people each," I reassured them, "Now let's find our next victim."

Hope you like the first installment of Who's the Biggest. I know I left Russia's size blank. I'm going to do that for all the countries. I just don't want to figure out all the sizes. I'll leave that up to your imagination:) And if you want a certain country in here, message me! See you all soon!


	3. Switzerland

**Read the Russia one before you read this**

Liechtenstein and her big brother walked out of the abandoned conference room, their faces both bright red.  
"You seven are a bad influence on Liechtenstein," snarled Switzerland.  
"Sorry Switzy," the seven of us snarled back. He made an annoyed "hmpf" and walked off.  
"Sorry we made you do that Liecht-t," Seychelles sighed.  
"It's alright," she said, "It was actually kind of fun."  
"Ooo~ is our little Liecht-t turning into a little pervert?" I chuckled.  
"W-What?!" she squealed, "I-I'm not a-"  
"I think we need to get Liechtenstein professional help," Belgium giggled.  
"What?! N-no I-"  
"There's no time," Hungary sighed, "We need to find our next victim."  
"I guess we'll have to hold the little perverted Liecht-t back," I sighed. We all laughed as we dragged Liechtenstein down the hallway.

"BUT I'M NOT A PERVERT!"


	4. China

**Read the Russia one before you read this**

"Wait Taiwan! We haven't finished the lesson!" I saw Taiwan bolt out of the room and into Ukraine.  
"What happened?!" squeaked Ukraine.  
"Did you get China's measurements?" Belarus asked.  
"Unfortunately, yes," Taiwan sighed.  
"Why is it unfortunate?" I questioned.  
"Well, when I asked if I could measure him," explained Taiwan, "He started lecturing me about why it was wrong! Then he started to teach me about the male systems! It was horrible!"  
"I'm so sorry!" Ukraine cried, holding Taiwan. I saw China pop his head out of the room.  
"Oh, there you are Taiwan," exclaimed China, "C'mon, we have to finish the lesson!"  
"NO!" Taiwan screamed and ran down the hallway. The girls and I ran after her.  
"Sorry China!" I yelled over my shoulder, "We're kind of busy right now!"  
"That's okay!" he yelled back, "Have fun with your project!" I smirked to myself.

_We were going to have fun indeed._


	5. England

The girls and I walked through the halls of the conference building.

"Hey London," Taiwan spoke up, "There's your big brother."

"Oh great," I said in disgust.

"Do you want to measure him?" asked Seychelles.

"I already know how long his dick is." They all stared at me in shock.

"What?" I questioned, "I've been with him all my life. And do you know how many times he's gotten drunk and started doing a strip tease? I probably see my big bro naked at least twice a week." Still shocked faces and I sighed. Then an idea struck me.

"On second thought," I smirked, "I think I will force measure him. It'll be payback for all that damn paperwork."

"You're insane."

~A Little Later~

"Big bro!" I yelled happily running towards England.

"Oh hey London," he replied, "I hope you're not still crossed with me about the paperwork."

"Of course not!" I said with a fake smile, "In fact, I want to show you something." He cocked his head to the side in confusion.

"Just come with me!" I led him to a vacant conference room.

"So what did you want to show me?" I shut the door and locked it. I sashayed my way up to him and wrapped my arms around his waist; he tensed.

"London, what are you doin-"

"You know," I said looking over England's shoulder at the ruler in my hands, "You're a great big brother."

"R-really?" he said, face tinted pink at the closeness.

"Yeah, you're probably the best big brother ever." All the while we were talking, I was trying to measure him without actually touching him.

"I-I don't t-think I'm the b-best brother," stuttered England.

"Of course you are!" I was almost done, "You're smart, funny, nice, protective, and very, very-" My hands accidentally brushed him.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" he yelled pushing me off of him.

"Oh nothing," I said innocently.

"B-but you were t-trying-" I pounced on my brother, cutting him off.

"G-GET OFF!" he yelled.

"Oh England," I cooed, "There's no shame in this.~" I reached for his pants and pulled them down, leaving him in his British flag boxers.

"Release me this instant London!" he shouted.

"But this is so fun!~" I sneered, ripping off his boxers, leaving him in...well...nothing. I looked at his erected big ben and an evil smile crawled up to my face. England gulped at my expression. I settled myself on his legs and tied his wrists together with his belt to keep him from stopping me.

"T-this is v-very undignified!" he yelled, face flaring.

"Maybe I don't want to be dignified," I whispered, kissing his forehead. I pulled out the ruler and England stared at it confused. I smirked and grabbed a hold of his erection. He let out a sharp cry that made me grin.

"L-London! S-sto-Ahh!~" I shut him up with a quick squeeze. I placed the ruler next to his dick, England moaning the whole way.

"Right!" I said victoriously, jumping off of my brother, "I've gotten your measurements!"

I stared at England. Face flushed, panting, and half naked; it was actually really funny. I whipped out my phone and took a few pictures.

"Those are keepers," I snickered. When England didn't manage to get up I sighed. I untied his wrists.

"C'mon England, sit up like a big boy." I helped him up to a standing position. He stared at me and then cleared his throat.

"So...um...what was that for?" asked England, still not wearing pants by the way. I explained the whole crazy situation.

"...and this was all because you gave me so much paperwork," he stared at me in disbelief.

"So you tackled me, took away my innocents, and practically raped me because I gave you too paperwork?!" he shouted.

"Yep! Now you know not to give me paperwork on my days off," I said smiling, "Now put your pants back on." He shot me a glare and got dressed.

"You're insane," he grumbled.

"Oh well," I smirked linking arms with my brother, "Now let's go."

We walked out of the room and were greeted by the girls.

"Hey London, England. How did it go?" they all asked.

"Wonderful!"

"Terrible!" England shouted, "I practically got raped by her!"

"How else was I supposed to do it?" I questioned, "If I asked, you would've said no."

"Damn right I would've said no!"

"Don't act you didn't love it," I breathed onto his ear. He shivered in disgust.

"Okay," Hungary sighed, "Let's get London out of here before she actually rapes her brother." The girls dragged me away.

"I love you Iggy-poo!~"

"I love you too..." grumbled England.


	6. Prussia

Hungary grumbled in dismay as she dragged the querulous Prussian into the vacant room. The rest of the girls and I giggled as we shut the door. We heard Prussia yelling angrily.  
"What are you doing, you crazy-" BONK.  
Silence ensued for a few minutes before the Hungarian girl strolled out, looking extremely accomplished.  
"What happened?" we all asked  
"I thought Prussia would've put up more of a fight than that…" Belgium muttered.  
"He did," Hungary smirk, "Until I hit him in the head with one of these."  
She grinned even more when she pulled out her frying pan. We looked into the room and saw Prussia with his pants off and a huge lump on his head.  
"Nice," Seychelles giggled.  
"So, did Prussia actually have a 'great five meters'?" I asked.  
Hungary chuckled.  
"He wishes."


	7. Scotland Part 1

My nostrils flared at the smell of smoke and my face broke out into a blush.  
_He's coming._  
"I-I just remembered I forgot something in my room." The girls looked at me strangely as I walked away from them.  
_I have to get out of here._  
I ran around the corner and-  
BAM.  
"Ow…"  
"Ello cuz."  
I looked up and saw the intimidating gaze of his green eyes. The cigar I smelled was hanging out of his mouth.  
_Oh what I would give to be that cigar right now.  
_I took a step back and look down, trying to hide my red face.  
"H-Hello Scotland."  
"I keep tellin' ya, London," he said. "We're family. Call me Alistar."  
"Yes Scotla- I mean, Alistar."  
He chuckled and patted my head. "Aye, there ya go." My face flared.  
The girls rounded the corner.  
"Hey Scotland!"  
"Ey lassies. What are ya all up to?"  
"Nooothing," the girls smiled evilly.  
"Wee devils the lot of ya," Scotland sniggered. "Well, I better get goin'. Wales owes me a drink."  
Scotland leaned down to my blushing form and pecked me on the cheek. "See ya." I stared at him as he strolled away.  
_God, he had a nice ass…Oh the things I could do with that ass...And the things he could do with my ass…The things he could do with my whole body!  
_I am the youngest of all of the United Kingdom. There's England, my big brother, and all of my cousins: Wales, Ireland, and, Scotland. I've known all of them ever since I was born. I love my all of my family dearly. But with Scotland, it was a different kind of love. Ever since I was a little girl, he was the one I loved. I always get embarrassed around him. When I was little, I thought being in love with my cousin was fine, but I grew up and soon found out that it could never happen. That's why I always him, so I don't remember how much I love him. But when I bumped into him just now, all of that love returned.  
"London?" I snapped back to reality at the sound of my name.  
"Yes?"_  
_"Your face is all red." Belgium poked my face.  
"And your palms are all sweaty." Ukraine squeezed my hand.  
"And you look extremely nervous." Belarus looked me strait in the eyes. I put my hands up and took a step back.  
"I know what this means!" Hungary gasped. "You're in love with Scotland!"  
It was getting real hard trying not to blush.  
"I am not!" I lied. "He's my cousin, that's disgusting!"  
"Belarus has no troubled loving Russia." We turned and saw Belarus making out with a little Russia doll.  
I sighed. "I'm not 'in love' with him," I lied again. "I just think he's hot…"  
The girls grinned darkly at me.  
"W-What is it…?"  
They moved towards me.  
"What are you doing?! No! Stop! NOOO!"

TO BE CONTINUED


End file.
